Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
