i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
