I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
