Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
