I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
