Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
