do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
