We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
