Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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