And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
