I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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