Well douche your snatch and let's go!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
