I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
