Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
