I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
