If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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