I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
