so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im six kinds of drunk right now
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
