Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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