oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize