I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
