I hate your face
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
