I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
