it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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