My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
