whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm going to jail i love you
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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