All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
