don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
