john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
