Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
