OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
