All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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