you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
