So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
