my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
