A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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