So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize