Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
