All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize