I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
