okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
now i know why i became what i already was.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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