I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i think my cat just said my name.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
