OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm eating all of the evidence.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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