dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
