discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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