just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
