Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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