remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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