I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
