I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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