ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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