I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just found puke in my bra..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
