So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
