Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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