Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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