"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
