seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
