I love black thongs
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize