it wasn't lemon gatorade
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i need some magic done to my vagina
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize