My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
