What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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