U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
